A Bloodlust Vampire

Original Speech by Rita Homem

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Ladies and gentlemen, good morning, good afternoon or good evening, depending on the time you are reading this. Today’s subject, an invisible, but very real affliction, hides among us all and shedding light on it is akin to letting sunshine into a vampire’s somber chambers. Children, teenagers and young adults must face this monster alone, but we turn a blind eye to this epidemic which has struck slowly but deeply: divorce.

Feeling fooled? My apologies. The point or the 61.4 divorces per 100 marriages still stand, connections not until death did them part, but until life fell apart. In Poland, this figure is just under 35, and in Croatia it is a little over 30. In fact, Portugal is the European country with the highest divorce rate. Woohoo! We’re the best at something!

The reasons behind such a dire statistic may shock you. The most cited causes are not abuse, either emotional or physical, but rather constant arguing, infidelity and lack of commitment.

Despite all this, who are the true victims? The adults who choose willingly to go down this path or the children who are forced to accept this route? More often than not, the children are ignored, and images of bloodless aimless unstable kids are replaced with broken families enjoying a steamy meal with smiles from ear to ear . In Portugal, 20% of children live in single-parent households. It may not seem like much, but picture a room with 5 people: one person grew up with only one adult entirely present.

But why should we care? One parent or three parents are better than none. Everyone is free to do as they please with their lives… Right? Well, children who grow up in single-parent households are more likely to drop out of school, boys find themselves lost and girls have a greater risk of teenage pregnancy. This is the future we are allowing the next generation.

I’m not asking parents to carry on after a breach of trust or to put up with abuse. Not at all. Never neglect self-respect. I’m only asking parents to water their garden after filling it fully with sunshine-loving seeds and we, society, should help look after the seedlings which will tomorrow grow to be immense trees.

When talking to children of divorced parents, I came to the conclusion that deep down we all feel the same thing, despite not being allowed to voice it. We, the children of divorced parents, are always too quiet about our true feelings, too concerned with the feelings of others and too often hiding in the shadows. We live in a sick time when it's the children's responsibility to sacrifice themselves for the emotional well-being of their parents and not the other way around.

I must confess I’ve been lying by omission. After all this jazz, there’s still a coda at the end. Divorce is not the real enemy, but merely the fang of a much darker vampire. We hold this commendable libertarian mentality that we should not interfere with others’ personal lives. However, at the same time, we put more thought and loyalty into binding mobile phone contracts than in non-binding marriage licenses. We choose people as if sorting through a menu at a restaurant and change partners as frequently as we change clothes. We teach future generations that there is always someone better out there and you should look for them, no matter what! There are 7 billion people on this planet. Of course, there is someone just right for you. But we forget our lives are too short to interview 7 billion people.

It’s no wonder suicide, depression and anxiety are on the rise. In the end, this much thirstier creature is what we are truly facing: consumerism applied to relationships, free market of people and fast food of human connection.

This bloodlusty vampire is sucking the life out of our weakened society, and, since there are no good reasons to cut with the past, we should devise a strategy to slay it. It will take many years to fully recover from the fight, but it is not too late! The stakes are high. We are here now and now is the perfect time to think about the plan. The plan values human connection over instant gratification. The plan prefers to care than to leave. The plan replaces divorce, disinterest and distrust with family, faith and fidelity. So let’s be engaged instead of engaging in self-destruction and let’s fill our soul instead of feeling sole alone. Love is not a fruit you can buy at the supermarket. It is a tree you plant in your garden. Thank you.